Something is up, this is not my “normal” self. Lately I wake up often to vivid dreams; with rich imagery and rich scenarios, diversified in place, duration, characters, intensity, atmosphere, colors, moods. I did not use to dream this much.
Last night was an itinerary through a series of houses and apartments that I had memories of living in, although I really did not. I visited each of them in turn along a path, a path I had taken trying to find a bathroom to wash myself after a sleepover in one of my high school’s classrooms. How I got into this classroom is itself a story however the memory of it evades me now. Yet the rest could become weirder. For each home I reached on the path I had extremely clear memories of what it was to live in it, yet each time when I arrived to the building it saw it was abandoned, nearly in ruins and taken by dirt and vegetation. Then each time I would remember that I had sold it or gave up my rent long ago, that I was thus not entitled to enter it although I had a key. Looking through a window of one of the houses, I could see the empty rooms and imagine my furniture and books organized in ways I never experienced in reality. Another home was organized in two parts, a main building and then a treehouse with a lovely sleeping room in the branches, with enough space for an entire library, yet no kitchen. I had a clear memory of having to get down the tree and go to the main building to cook breakfast, although I did not live in the main building otherwise. On the path, I also entered a building which at first I thought was also an ex-home, yet at the top of a flight of stairs I recognized from the corner of a rail that the memory I had of the place was from a one-time sleepover at my ex-dad’s new wife’s late father’s home fifteen years ago. At that point I got fed up with the dream and I wished to find my real home on the path, and I started to think very hard of my current address to get there. I thought I recognized the street at the corner of my imaginary path, but when I got to the right house number I eventually woke up.
What is wrong with me?
I woke up from strange dreams every days for a week. Every other day is a nightmare. I am terrified of going to sleep today.